Reade · My · Lips

1. How old do you wish you were? Wishing is useless, but if it weren't, maybe 30.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened? At work.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Call the number on the machine for a refund.

4. Do you consider yourself kind? Mostly.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? It would be a hummingbird. It would have to be somewhere John would never see it, like my ass.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish, so I could give directions around the hospital to the Hispanics who are lost.

7. Do you know your neighbors? Every one of them, with a few exceptions.

8. What do you consider a vacation? Mexico, San Francisco, anywhere that's not home and not an Iowa relative's home.

9. Do you follow your horoscope? Sometimes.

10. Would you move for the person you loved? I did move for John, to Saint Paul, when I said I'd never, ever live in the Twin Cities again.

11. Are you touchy feely? Huggy, but not touchy feely.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract? Yes, usually to the detriment of both, if a relationship is formed.

13. Dream job? Using my creative talents to actually make fistfuls of dough.

14. Favorite channels? No favorite channels. Favorite shows.

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? Right now, San Francisco.

16. Showers or Bath? Bath, if I had my little old-fashioned clawfoot tub back upstairs, what I called my womb tub.

17. Do you paint your nails? Only my toenails, and only in the summer. No use painting my fingernails during gardening season.

18. Do you trust people easily? Yeah, sometimes I can be a real sucker.

19. What are your phobias? Cleaning toilets.

20. Do you want (more if you already have) kids? Are you kidding? At my age?

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? I have a stack of old journals, beginning in childhood. Now I have the computer and LJ and FB.

22. Where would you rather be right now? Someplace warm and cozy.

23. What makes you feel warm and safe? My bed.

24. Heavy or light sleep? Both. Heavy when I take Xanax. Light when I don't.

25. Are you paranoid? Hmmm, maybe.

26. Are you impatient? Not anymore.

27. Who can you relate to? People with emotional pain.

28. How do you feel about interracial couples? What's interracial? Aren't all races human?

29. Have you been burned by love? Do the first three husbands count?

30. Whats your life motto? If I had one, it would be "one step in front of the other."

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? "Pull Up to My Bumper Baby," by Grace Jones.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching the BBC's Ashes to Ashes with John.

33. Who was your last text message from? My granddaughter?

34. Who's bed did you sleep in last night? My own.

35. What color shirt are you wearing? Gray tee-shirt

36. Most recent movie you watched? I can't remember the last movie I watched.

37. Name five things you have on you at all times? Other than when I'm sleeping or bathing: eyeglasses, clothes.... that's it.

38. What color are your bed sheets? Mostly white.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now? Not a blamed nickel. I'm totally overdrawn at the bank.

40. What is your favorite part of a chicken? Breast meat.

41. What's your favorite town/city? Well, now that Jesse lives there, San Francisco.

42. I cant wait till... I get to go visit Jesse again.

43. Who got you to join MySpace? I don't belong to MySpace. Do I?

44. What did you have for dinner last night? Peanut butter sandwich.

45. How tall are you barefoot? 5-4.

46. Have you ever smoked crack? Not a chance.

47. Do you own a gun? Not yet, probably never.

48. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Mango Synergy, tea - coffee on weekends.

49. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? At my age, it would have to be my personality, although I'm not sure that would lure anyone but kooks at this point.

50. Do you have A.D.D.? You mean, can I do math? ;)

51. What time did you wake up today? 6 p.m.

52. Current worry? How to lose weight and still enjoy life.

53. Current hate? How I look.

54. Favorite place to be? In the garden or in bed.

55. Where would you like to travel? Italy to see where my mother's fiance is buried, various tropical islands - and only if I could travel first class everywhere.

56. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Probably still alive. Probably still working.

57. Last thing you ate? Trader Joe's three-cheese pizza.

58. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower.

59. Last person that made you laugh? Tina Fey

60. Worst injury you've ever had? Dog bite that removed the fingernail portion of my left ring finger.

61. Does someone have a crush on you? Seriously doubtful.

62. What is your favorite candy? Maynard's Wine Gums (English version of gummies)

63. Pick a scar you have and explain how you got it. On my chin. Got it when a boy I had a crush on who was visiting my brothers for a playdate pulled a ladder up onto the roof of the garage where they were playing and hit me in the chin with it.

64. Winter or Summer? Summer

65. Who do you miss? Jesse, Frankie, and my daughter and granddaughters

66. What's your middle name? I don't have one anymore. It used to be Jean before I changed my name.

67. Favorite smell? The smell of the garden in spring after a fresh rain.

68. Are you afraid of the dark? Not anymore, except when coming up the basement stairs in the dark, when I imagine that a hand is going to grab my feet.

69. What is your dream vehicle (limited to those on the ground)? A car that never needs maintenance and lasts forever.

70. If you could get plastic surgery, what would you have done? Aw, gee, nothing would help now.

71. What do you want most for your next birthday? A million dollars.

72. Do you wish on stars? No, never have.

73. Most embarrassing music album that you can't seem to get rid of? Um, I can't think of any.

74. First thing you notice about yourself in the morning? The circles and bags under my eyes.

75. Book you would like to be seen in film? Geek Love, if that were even possible with such a strange and weird cast of characters.

Today is the first day of the rest of my diet. I'm on a mission to lose at least 30 pounds, maybe more, depending on how many facial wrinkles pop up when I've shed face fat.

I'm trying not to get down on myself for having gained back everything I lost on Weight Watchers last year. I am still a good person even though there's more of me than ever before.

What I really need to do is exercise on a regular basis again. At least walk around the block a couple of times a day. I swear I'm getting "bedsores" on my butt from sitting in front of my computer at work all day and then at night. Hmmm, maybe a portable computer that can be taken on walks, to the gym? Naw, that defeats the purpose of shutting off the computer and getting away from it.

Today was sunny and much warmer than it's been for months. It is possible that spring may actually come again this year.

All is well with the new cat. He's adjusting splendidly and is a real sweetheart. I know Ellen and the girls miss him a lot, but the good part is he's no longer pissing on their living room carpet.

He lives downstairs, for now, and Mara lives upstairs. At some point we will open the door to the upstairs and let them duke it out, but not yet.

I might as well get on the bandwagon. Here goes:

1. I was the state president of Iowa N.O.W. the year Jesse was born.
2. A high school boyfriend and I made out in the car his father asphyxiated himself in (I didn't know).
3. I once had a pet hog-nosed snake.
4. Years ago I briefly "dated" a hunchback.
5. I love digging in the dirt.
6. I discovered that time spent in a psych ward can be very relaxing.
7. I learned to type when I was 11 years old.
8. A number of summers when I was a kid, I had a pet banty rooster - each named Tommy.
9. Each fall after those number of summers, we ate Tommy for Thanksgiving dinner.
10. I have never broken a bone in my body.
11. I once punched my older brother in the nose on purpose.
12. I thought college was boring and useless.
13. For my job in Lincoln, Nebraska, I got to feed cormorants and baby deer at the state fair.
14. I learned the hard way, three times, that marriage doesn't pay.
15. With my fourth marriage, I disproved the adage, "the third time's the charm."
16. Writing would be my life if I could make enough money doing it.
17. I'm afraid of my own fat.
18. I've lived in 10 different cities and visited three other countries in my lifetime.
19. Social events sometimes make me stutter.
20. The earth is my best friend.
21. I don't like waffles.
22. Sometimes I have ESP.
23. When I was young, I wanted to be a doctor.
24. My greatest wish: a real vacation.
25. My biggest fear: total and complete boredom.

It's day three after my thumb surgery. The surgeon insisted I stay home from work for three full days. Normally that would be wonderful news, but what the heck can I do at home with one hand swathed in bandages - my right hand at that.

What I have done is stay in bed and snooze, work crosswords, play computer games (ouch), read books, watch a little tv, eat the food John brings up for me. That's about it. Bor-ring.

Trigger finger is often caused by repetitive movement, which in my case was probably from digging the new koi pond last summer and fall. A tendon usually glides quite easily through the tissue that covers it (also called a sheath) because of a lubricating membrane surrounding the joint called the synovium. Occasionally a tendon may become inflamed and swollen. When this happens, bending the finger or thumb may pull the inflamed portion through a narrowed tendon sheath, making it snap or pop. In the illustrations below, note the swollen synovium, that little bump at the base of the finger. I could feel the bump at the base of my thumb.  It hurt to press on it, which is how the surgeon diagnosed the problem.

This is probably what the surgery looked like. The surgeon makes an incision across the base of the thumb and snips the sheath (A1 pulley) so that the lump on the tendon won't get caught when the thumb is bent.

After five surgeries on my left hand ring finger from the aftermath of the dog bite, I don't really mind surgery anymore, not even having an IV. Some of the operating room nurses know me by name now, and it's downright chummy in the surgical suite when they're prepping me for the procedure. I always ask a lot of questions about everything and chat up the anesthesiologist about the kind of drugs s/he will be pumping into my IV. When it's all over, the discharge nurse sends me home with a handful of Vicodin for the pain. Makes sleeping the first night really easy. No pain, no brain, no strain. Lovely.

This time I came home with an Ace bandage type wrapping covering my whole hand. It was layered over some soft cotton and some nonstick material that covers the wound. Wouldn't you know the soft cotton extending up my thumb was all ripped away by the second day and the incision was exposed. Looks like there's about four or five stitches. I'm dying to remove the wrapping and get a good look at it, but I suppose I should wait at least until Sunday. I think the stitches will come out on Tuesday when I see the surgeon for follow-up,

At any rate, in case y'all were wondering and worrying about me going under the knife again (if you even knew about it), I'm doing just peachy keen fine. Minimal pain, mostly just discomfort when I exercise the thumb joint to keep scar tissue from developing.

I trust that this surgery will take care of the problem.

Yes, it's true. The story I just wrote for the Best Friends Network is going to be the lead story on their home website. The topic? How to reduce stress and disease transmission in cats in busy shelters. Many cats die just from the stress. They're freaked out by the noises, the smells, the change from cage to cage, the handling. The woman I'm writing about developed a new in-take process at her shelter that includes spraying a towel on the bottom of the cat cage with Feliway, a feline pheromone, that gives the cat the feeling that it's "at home." The in-take cage is one designed for feral cats that has enclosed sides so the cat can feel safe and protected.

By the way, if you have feline peeing problems, order some Feliway. It works like this: When your cat rubs up against you, it's not loving you up. Instead, it's marking you as a possession. "You belong to me," says your cat, rubbing the scent glands around her head on your pants leg. "Mine. Mine. Mine." By spraying Feliway on the area of marking, or using a diffuser for the entire room, you're putting the cat's "scent" on everything, which gives the cat the safe and comfortable feeling that it is home.

Cats that spray or pee are demonstrating their reaction to a stressor, which could be anything from a dirty litter box to a stranger in the house to reckless handling by a family member or another. A stressfree cat is a happy cat. A happy cat is much less likely to stink up the house.

Good stuff, eh? I learned a lot.

http://www.claytonbailey.com/robogroup.htm



http://www.robothut.robotnut.com/project.html



http://robotart.homestead.com/gallery.html


                      My personal favorite - Exercising One's Demons!

The day after Thanksgiving, a day of relaxing, eating leftovers, and watching old movies.....

John, Dwight, and I ate a sumptuous leftovers feast for dinner, the boys spent several hours listening to blues and jazz, and then we all settled in upstairs to watch the last Die Hard movie. So far so good.

About 11 p.m. John decided to heat up a loaf of frozen bread, using the convection feature of the microwave oven. He shoved in the loaf and zipped back upstairs. All of a sudden I smelled toast, then burned toast, then smoky burned toast. John rushed downstairs. Dwight and I could hear him clearly, even over the loud movie explosions and gunfire.

"Dammit!"

"Oh, my god!"

"Shit...shit!"

We rushed downstairs, descending into the dense gray smoke emanating from the kitchen.

"Open the door!" I yelled. John unlocked the back door and swung it open, then propped open the storm door. Dwight ran to the front of the house and opened the porch windows and door. I took the stairs two at a time to get the big fan from our bedroom. The smoke was so thick we were all coughing and choking.

With the fan blowing outward through the back door, and another fan blowing outward from our bedroom window upstairs, the smoke gradually thinned and visibility improved. The black crusty loaf of bread was totally burned through, charcoalled to its very center. I threw it into the garden. Let the squirrels have it, I thought. Maybe it will upset their little tummies so badly they'll all move away.

John had set the oven to 350 degrees. "That bread wasn't even in there for ten minutes. I can't believe it burned up like that."

Dwight insisted there was something wrong with the convection oven.

The house smelled yucky, upstairs and down.I grabbed a dishcloth from the sink and started wiping out the microwave chamber. Sooty residue stained the white cloth a stinky dark brown color. Foremost in my mind was the fear that the smoke had left residue all over the house, on the ceilings, walls, woodwork, curtains, our clothes....

After nearly an hour of open doors and windows, the smell was tolerable, so we trooped back upstairs to finish watching the movie.

Funny thing, though. Neither one of the hard-wired smoke detectors made a peep during the entire smoky incident. What's up with that?